Monday, May 1, 2017

I Love the 'Earth as Space Australia' Trope Part II

Part I is here:
"The wife and I got a dog for our son this weekend."
"A... 'dog'?"
"Member of the canine family. Pack oriented chase predators."
"Wait. You got a chase predator for your son? Why?"
"So our son can learn responsibility from feeding and training it."
"How would you train an animal in a cage?"
"Huh? No! Rover is going to be part of the family! He'll sleep with our son in his bed, play with him outside, and our son will train rover so they can cooperatively hunt for wild game."
"So you want your immature son to be subordinate to a chase predator?"
"Goodness, no! Our son will teach rover to be subordinate to him! Rover will keep our son safe while they are off together, hunting alone."
"So your plan is to bring an apex chase predator into your home and make your immature son responsible for its care, grooming, and training as it runs free inside your domicile so that your son can not only make it a subordinate hunting assistant but so that the canine will protect your son?"
"Absolutely, This is a human tradition older than writing. I'm just glad rover gets along with our daughter's cat."
"I know I am going to regret this, but - a 'cat'?"
"A small feline, a pounce predator."
"Is your daughter to subordinate this pounce predator for assistance in hunting?"
"Oh, T'l'k'K'geb, you are so funny! No, our daughter just thinks cats are cute."
"Cute?
"Adorable? Aesthetically appealing in a manner reminiscent of helpless things?"
"Your daughter thinks a pounce predator is aesthetically pleasing?"
"All humans tend to, yes. And we find the cat useful, as well. It predates any rodents or large arthropods that enter the home that we do not like."
"Really? I had assumed that these 'cats' would have to be completely harmless in order to be viewed as 'cute'"
"Far from it! Cats have caused dozens of earth species to go extinct and the version of felines humans prefer most slaughter over 100 billion avians and mammals a year on earth."
"What is the name of the rings! You mean you not only accept one of the most lethal predators on earth as 'cute' you purposefully put them into your homes?!"
"Well, they are useful in making sure that mice don't scare the wife. I'm just glad rover likes kitty."
"Because 'kitty' would add rover to the list of dead mammals?"
"Nooooo! Don't be ridiculous. Dogs kill cats all the time; you have to train them to get along, usually."
"So these 'cats' with their massive amount of dead creatures are NOT earth's apex predator?"
"No even close! They're adorable little furballs that humans love to stroke, pet, and play with because they are so harmless."
"I am never going to Earth!"